It’s Memorial Day weekend, and like many other families Rep. Pryor Gibson, wife Barbara and their two children are trying to fit in a little family time at their property on Lake Tillery. There’s work to be done, cleaning up around the barn, fixing the toilet and other chores.
Lunch is Subway sandwiches in the picnic shelter at the boat ramp, then it’s back to work. The weekend will be cut short, though. Pryor’s cell phone beeps. “There’s a wrinkle in the budget,” he says, and he’ll have to leave early to head back to Raleigh for a 4:30 meeting.
Everyone, including Ry, nearly 10, and Emma, age 7, takes the interruption in stride. There’s no whining; they’ve never known anything else.
Their dad holds down a full-time job as construction manager for Time Warner Cable and is in his sixth term in the legislature, a good part of that time representing Montgomery County, but with redistricting now representing Anson and Union counties. He also “does real estate” and keeps up with acres of trees on the 80 acres off Lake Tillery, orchards of chestnut and plum trees in Wadesboro, and the family’s critters, horses, guineas, chickens, cats and dogs.
Barbara works as the human resources director for the N.C. Department of Justice, and family lives a gypsy existence, sometimes in Raleigh, sometimes on the farm near Wadesboro, sometimes at the lake and a lot of time on the road.
“The kids love it anywhere where Pryor is,” says Barbara. “It’s been that way since they popped out.”
“The first few years of our marriage we did fun stuff and I kept waiting to have a family till there was enough time and money to have kids,” he says. “Then I realized there was never enough of either and we were ready to have kids.”
They agreed early on that Pryor would do his share. “He would change diapers, get up half the times in the night, and he also bathed them; he’s good at all that stuff,” Barb explains. But neither realized, in her words, how “high maintenance” the children would be.
At about 18 months, Ry regressed and was eventually diagnosed with autism. “I used to have to hold him down to get him to look at me,” says Barb. He had sleep apnea and only slept 15 minutes at a time. He would wake 13 or more times a night, screaming.
“I slept on top of the dryer with Ry in my arms or took him in the car to get him to sleep,” adds Pryor. Life became more difficult when Emma was born prematurely in the fall and had to be kept at home for months, away from the infections of cold and flu season.
Today, they both are friendly, outgoing, talkative youngsters. Ry went through numerous therapies and Pryor explains, “I can think of 22 reasons why Ry is healthy and doing better than average.” He credits the Jordan Center for much of Ry’s success at adapting to a tough world. “But I also hauled him everywhere, anyplace I could to get him around humans.”
Ry became a familiar sight riding in local parades with his dad or at his father’s speaking engagements. After Emma was old enough and healthy enough, he started alternating or taking both kids with him around the district and in Raleigh.
On what Pryor calls “the bounce,” driving from Wadesboro to Raleigh for meetings, or the “reverse bounce,” during legislative sessions from Raleigh back to the district to meet with constituents, the kids often come along.
“He makes up games for them in the car and has taught Ry Spanish,” Barb explains.
As chairman of the Environmental Review Commission, Pryor takes the kids with him on commission field trips three or four times a year to visit sites around the state. A couple of years ago, when the commission came to Troy, they got to make pottery at MCC. On the most recent commission trip, to learn more about storm water rules at the coast, they got to go “back stage” at the N.C. Aquarium.
“We got to see how they cut up the food for the fish,” says the talkative Emma. “I always get requests from the commission members to bring the kids on the field trips,” Pryor adds. “We take them everywhere with us so now they’re fabulous travelers and comfortable with anyone.”
It’s not all travel with sophisticated adults, however. Ry slides down the banking out of the woods above the Holiday Shores picnic shelter dragging a long stick he asks to take back to Raleigh and talks about things he likes to do with his dad.
“Mostly he forces me to work,” says Ry grinning. “He makes me pick up my toys and clean up the fishing poles I left at the pond.” Ry’s a good fisherman, bragging about two large mouth bass he caught for the family supper recently.
Pryor has also built them a zip line for sliding into the pond at the Wadesboro farm.
“We like to wrestle with him,” adds Emma, demonstrating with Ry a couple of their wrestling holds. “I’m the best,” she says. “Once me and Ry pushed him off the bed.”
They say their dad is also a good cook. “Mom used to cook but she stopped when he told her all what to do,” explains Emma. “He cooks fish, hamburgers and hot dogs and sometimes friends come over and we cook out and play with their boys.”
When they have to go to the legislative office building in Raleigh, their favorite activity is “chasing around a big square around where he works,” says Emma. “At night, he jumps out and scares us.”
“It’s called legislative hide and seek,” adds Pryor.
Asked about what their dad does for work, Emma explains, “He works for Time Warner and fixes TVs and stuff. He wears a suit and tie to the legislature but I don’t really know what he does.”
“He legislates,” adds Ry. “He’s on the phone a lot about the legislature and the general assembly.”
“It’s about time and waste. I can’t stand to waste time. It’s the most precious commodity I have and I only have 52 years to be around them,” Pryor says, nodding at the two kids playing nearby.
He learned about time management working construction years ago with Bobby Myrick. “I keep a running matrix in my head,” he says of his 100-hour-a-week time budget. “Right off the top is a minimum of 20 hours a week for the kids.” That doesn’t include the time he has with them when he takes them to work, for which he must budget at least 40 hours a week, and the more than 40 hours a week for legislative business, in which they are also often included.
He gets up early, around 4 most mornings, to go through five newspapers and four e-mail accounts to keep up with staff and other business. He and Barb have their alone time early with coffee and the papers before the kids start their day.
But he knows where his first priority lies. “There’s nothing more important in your life than kids. That’s the whole reason for existence,” he says.
Adds Barb, “He’s a good dad.”
“I try,” he responds. “Every morning it’s a different job, but I’m trying. I couldn’t do it without a very flexible, supportive wife.”
